Call me a late starter but after reading all the books I own again and refusing to buy more or finding the energy to go to a library (and after much encouragement from The Mothership) I decided to start reading the Twilight series I’ve had stashed in the bookcase. I’d seen the film when it first came out and was a little confused by all the extreme and manic attention.

A few weeks down the road and I’m now on the last book and ready to get stuck into the films. Hubby thoughtfully got me the box-set as a Christmasbirthiversary gift a couple of weeks ago (that sentence tells you far more about our relationship than you’ll ever know – in a good way!) and so far I’ve been too busy to even watch Twilight again let alone hammer through the sequels. You may be wondering if this is the post and I’m now going to go on and on about how busy I’ve been, well, I’m not. What I came on to tell you about, and after being sick for several days with some tummy thing, was my realisation that having gastro is exactly like being a vampire in the Twilight Universe. Let me explain…

1. You twinkle in both sun and moon light (due to profuse sweating from a mild fever);

2. It is not safe for you to be around humans;

3. You are thirsty but know that you will regret drinking;

4. You become “vegetarian”;

5. Your skin becomes unnaturally pale(r).

On one of my recent walks with Little Man and when I was feeling particularly fragile after living on toast for a week, I started to think about how I could put this into my own tween novel. Here goes:

Katie’s body felt cold to the touch and her skin sparkled like tiny snail trails in the glow of the TV. I could see that she was hungry – or was it pure thirst – but so far had refused my offer to help with this dangerous matter. She kept saying how much it wasn’t worth it and that she would never eat again. Her skin seemed almost translucent now but I reminded myself that she looked like this everyday….

I know right? Why did I stop there? Clearly on to a best seller. Or, you’know, a new career writing medical journals.

Until next time,



  1. Oh how I relate to every point here, I think I had the same thing you had, although not as bad as yours. I guess we must both really be vampires. Thanks for clearing that up, it explains a lot 🙂

    1. The more I think about it the more it makes sense – I noticed I could also move inhumanly fast in order to get to the bathroom! Hope you feel better soon 🙂

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