Every morning I try and do a little blogging before Little Man wakes, this includes writing posts, editing, updating social media and checking my stats. There is one thing that will always stop me in my tracks and take my breath away and that is when someone has typed something into a search engine and arrived at one of my posts regarding miscarriage.
Nearly every week I get random hits on, arguable one of the most read posts I’ve ever published, what not to say to someone who has just had a miscarriage.
This fills me with both sadness and comfort. The fact someone is going to such lengths to support someone can only be seen as a good thing, even if they’re not too sure what to actually do with the information. Inevitably this also leads to Readers clicking on my follow up post of how to comfort someone who has just had a miscarriage.
On one hand it goes to show that dialogue is being opened around this once very taboo subject, that people are acknowledging the life changing loss and not simply telling a couple to try again. I wrote those posts to help people, people who may not have been touched in this way. Grief will always be a horrible thing to deal with and when it surrounds the loss of a pregnancy or infant it will intensify.
I look at my stats and get taken back to my own miscarriages and the agonizingly fresh, painful time that followed. I begin to wonder. Who is this person? Who are they hoping to comfort? I hope they’re okay and know they’re not alone. I wonder if they have a pet that is following them around trying to comfort them or if they are just watching mindless TV while their body heals. I wonder if they have existing children and therefore have to simply get on with their day and are unable to grieve properly. I wonder if the person who typed that awful sentence into Google or Bing and got my blog will actually use any of my suggestions and if they will be of a comfort.
My kids are going to read this blog one day and I want them to be proud of what I tried to do, my willingness to share and desire to help others that can either relate or are needing guidance. I want them to know the struggle we had, that life isn’t all rosy but that you can get through the tough times.
You can survive.
And that single sentence, right there, is just the absolute crux of it…
Until next time,