I feel like I’ve got my groove back. I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned it recently, but I had the anniversary of my first loss and the due date of my last one at roughly the same time. This seemed to be the catalyst of many meltdowns over a period of a few weeks but I’m relieved to say that, hopefully, the worst is finally behind me. I think you have to get past certain dates before being able to give yourself to the healing process and whilst I acknowledge I might always get a bit sad by certain dates, I no longer feel a horrid anticipation waiting for the first approach.
My mind feels clearer, I feel more at peace. The cooler weather is upon us – which I LOVE (see, I’m using capitals and everything) – and it’s coming out in my work.
For the first time I feel (modestly) proud of some of the photography I’ve been producing. Normally I continually nit-pick here and there and/or fall into the horrible trap that is Comparison but not with these images I took recently…
My business is coming together slowly but surely and my study is moving along nicely, actually I have lots more planned on the study front but it feels right, you’know? To be following my creative desire and being able to be my own boss is something that makes me extremely happy. For the first time in a while I’m very excited about my future career prospects.
Anyway, we’ve been trying to spring clean our house for a while but I pretty much just gave up on finding a quiet corner of our study-come-boys-only-room-even-Oscar-is-allowed-in-there-and-I’m-not area. So, I created one.
I cleaned up Little Man’s play area, including relocating a tipi he never used but now misses sorely, moving Oscar’s climbing house slightly so I could make myself a little nook. A place that is just mine.
I was up early this morning and sat in my little space for a while, I noticed how the morning sun came through the window; Oscar sat near me and dozed while I typed and it made me feel warm and fuzzy to have somewhere to call my own. Just mine, with my girly stuff and my radio perfectly positioned for quiet listening.
Until next time,