The one thing I’ve learnt about having PND, and it seems to be the thing regarding all mental health, is that it’s very easy to isolate yourself. Personally I’ve found I’ve become a little agoraphobic, anxious of leaving my home. However once I do it, I immediately feel better.
It’s a vicious cycle really. Being social or nipping to the shops can literally brighten your mood and make your day. But the anxiety beforehand can cause nausea, diarrhoea and heart palpitations.
I think many people don’t appreciate the physical symptoms that go along with a diagnosis. It’s not just being down, it’s having irrational fears, worrying beyond comprehension. It’s being unable to eat because you feel so queasy.
Yesterday that was my day. I didn’t eat from breakfast until 7:30pm because I just felt so sick from… something and nothing. I felt totally exhausted and overwhelmed with life for no particular reason.
But today I wanted – needed – it to be different, so Little Man and I went in the garden for the morning. We planted some succulent arrangements and he helped me arrange leaves for propagation. I felt the sun on my face and it was magical. It might not sound like much but I couldn’t have done it 24 hours ago.
Now it’s time for twin cuddles, pottering around and an enjoyable feeling of having appreciation for my life. Yes, bad days are truly awful, but good days are fantastically normal and so worth staying strong for. Take care my friend. Love K x