I haven’t been able to cry in a while but it’s always there, bubbling under the surface. To help break down the wall of numbness I had the idea of watching a sad movie to help get things moving and Hubby suggested Marley and Me.
Little Man and I watched it this morning, cuddling on the couch. Then Naomi joined us and as I began to cry my son said “Mummy, are you hurting?” I replied yes. “Did my sister bite you?” Kid logic. I love it.
I told him no, she hadn’t but that everybody cries, even Mummies, and that its okay to do so. Then my boy, my caring and compassionate baby boy, handed me a tissue using his hand grabber toy.
Now, I knew that there were more tears that wouldn’t come so initially I thought I may have to go more hardcore with something like Beaches or Sophie’s Choice. But then I started talking to Hubby, explaining my feelings and that I’m confused by some of them etc. It really helped and I did manage to cry more, to release some of this… messy head stuff.
I know I have a long way to go, I’d like to talk to a professional so I will get onto that this week. Until then I’ll just take it one day at a time and keep trying to challenge the lies that post natal depression likes to whisper in your ear. K x