So here I am again, writing another post, straight after saying I was so busy and couldn’t possibly give any more time to this blog at the moment. Oh well, lucky you I guess!
Anyway, I’ve been tidying up, pottering about and I even used my new tripod to take some pictures of Little Man’s new clothes (post to follow shortly I suppose, since I’m clearly not up to much).
Little Man is still asleep and I’m contemplating many things.
The first one being that it is my wedding anniversary today and not only did I believe that I would never get married (because boys had awful germs) but the fact I’m in Australia too. A country I was nonchalant about visiting has turned into my home for nearly eight years. I’ve had some pretty major life events here and as Hubby and I steadily make plans to continue on with our travels I feel like it is a country that has treated me well. Very well.
The second pondering is about this blog and what I want it to be. I’ve come to accept my, somewhat macabre, passion surrounding infertility and pregnancy loss and so I’ve been wondering if I should turn my blog to more of that focus. I mean, in all reality it already is but maybe I need less rambling and more subject matter! I want to do more. I want to raise money for causes close to my heart. I want to create openness about these raw topics. I don’t want to hide my identity anymore. I am no longer ashamed of my losses and my body’s limitations.
The third is that I think I’m ready to make that doctors appointment. The thought of getting pregnant fills me with dread. I get bitter about this fact. I miss my innocence, my hope and my excitement at the possibility of it all. I believe in miracles and I’ve had mine. Why be greedy? I mean, next thing you know I’ll be wanting my very own unicorn too.
To end on a light note, in no way has my life panned out how I thought it would when I was a kid, but I’m pleased to realise that I’m actually pretty content with my lot.
Until next time,