I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why I write this blog. About why connecting with other infertility and pregnancy loss writers is so important to me and my mental health. You see, it’s nothing against people that haven’t experienced it as I have received more support than I ever could have hoped for, but there is an unspoken comfort that can be found in the community.

Even though I had another blog during my initial losses before Little Man I never wrote about them. I was ashamed, I was vulnerable and to be honest I didn’t really know if I’d find comfort in putting myself out there. I’m not too sure how I even fell into the community this year, I can’t remember how it started or how I found the blogs I now loyally follow. All I know is that I had to write.

I had to get it out, like verbal diarrhea only with typing. I had to cry over my laptop, I had to release this immense, intense and all-consuming hurt so that it wouldn’t take me down, I had to seek help.

Thankfully I found it. I was immediately accepted – I’m not even sure if that’s the right word. I guess I want to say I felt normal. I didn’t have to hide my grief, I didn’t have to downplay my loss, I could speak openly about it and this has somehow transpired into my “real” life. I get the feeling this is the same for these types of other bloggers too, we simply need to write in order to let it out. It’s a safe place to share honestly, without judgement and to be met with a gentle and unspoken understanding.

I have a new confidence with talking about pregnancy loss and infertility these days. A topic I considered so private I now feel a bit like an advocate. It’s astonishing the private messages I’ve received from people in their own battles who have been brave enough to confide in me, I wonder if their parents, friends or colleagues know about the hurt and secret worry they’re carrying around.

I suppose I want to say thanks. Thanks to my real life family and friends for listening to me and for being brave enough to say “I just don’t know what to do to make it better”. Thanks to my online blogging friends who continually support me even though I’ve been a little MIA lately (no pun intended) and thanks to my readers for actually being along with me on this journey. You’ve all seen me at my worst on this blog, I’ve shared some big things that I never thought I would and you continue to stick by me. I am truly appreciative of that.

It’s probably saved my sanity a few times over.

Until next time,

 

 

0 comments

  1. I feel the same way about my fellow bloggers. Sometimes I get all weepy and am like “I love you guys so much!” I didn’t think anyone would even read my blog when I started and I was shocked to find others like me out there. I thought I was alone! Definitely not alone and definitely glad I have found the connections I have 🙂

    1. Hahaha, I do that too! And I agree, I was so shocked to find others who seemed to write exactly what I was feeling. I am so thankful everyday for the blogs I have found 🙂

  2. There are tons of studies about the benefits of writing about stressful or traumatic experiences. Not just emotional, but legit physical well-being too. I think there is something to be said for articulating it. It helps you pinpoint what you’re feeling so it is easier to manage. I’ve written posts that I’ve never shared, and I’ve still felt better afterwards.

    I too have been blown away by how (mostly) loving and welcoming the IF blogging community is. The kindness of strangers is a real thing!

    1. I completely agree. I too have written posts that I’ve not published but feel so much better afterwards, it is a release for sure. Or sometimes I write just to figure out exactly what is bothering me and I find as I continue (after a few paragraphs) it’ll eventually become clear.
      Considering the subject matters, the IF/RPL community is very welcoming. I just assumed everyone would be more guarded because the energy can be so raw but it’s really not like that.

      I have always depended on the kindness of strangers 😉

  3. I really resonated with this and feel so lucky to have found this community. After connecting with so many other women who really understand, I stopped feeling so embarrassed about how much my losses affected me and how devastating they were for me. I used to think there was something wrong with me or that I was too sensitive…but now I feel more like an advocate, like you say. I’m so glad writing and this community has helped you too! <3

    1. Thank you – that means a lot. I used to feel the same, sometimes still do wonder if I’m being a bit over the top so jumping on a blog to reaffirm I’m not is SO helpful. I find I get so used to putting on a smile as to not make others uncomfortable it eats away after a bit. The crazy thing is no one expects me to be that way but myself. I’m so glad you feel the same way re: writing and the community too 🙂

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