What a difference a day makes. 24 little hours. This time yesterday I was feeling sick, anxious, confused and just deflated. Today I feel like I have more energy and that my appreciation for our life is back.
I’m naturally a person who is thankful for simply waking up. After all, I’m alive, healthy, with food in the fridge and a roof over my head. I have three beautiful children and a wonderful husband. So, so much to be happy about. I don’t like feeling angry at our situation regarding Little Reds health stuff. And I definitely don’t like worrying about the future and over things that may not ever happen.
SLEEPING ON IT
Admittedly, it took me the night to get my groove back. Michael and I spoke over dinner and I had a moment of clarity about why this whole geneticist thing had thrown me into such a tizz. Basically we went from thinking that if we could just fix Baby Bears spine and manage her low muscle tone with orthotics then everything would be grand. It went from major surgery on her spine to hey, she might not be able to have kids and there is a risk that other nasty stuff, like liver failure, might happen too.
Like many of you said to do, I took a breath. Stepped back and thought “we don’t even know that she has any of those conditions yet”. Just because a doctor says she COULD have X, Y or Z doesn’t mean she has. The jury is still out on whether a blood clot or issue with the placenta when she was around four weeks gestation is the cause of all this. As for the ever so slightly pointier chin, well, maybe she just doesn’t have my moon face. (Always look for the silver lining, folks!). Besides, even if she did have something, well, we’re a strong enough family unit to deal with whatever may come our way. I needed the night to remember that.
Anywho, I guess what I also want to say is thank you. Thank you for all of those lovely words on my last post. Thank you for listening, supporting, comforting and just being there as a sounding board. Most of you are parents with your own experiences and issues going on and I hope my sharing does comfort you in some way too. I value all of the insight and words of wisdom. We wholeheartedly appreciate this village.