I recently had a dream that was so real yet unrealistic it both scared and comforted me at the same time. Sounds confusing, no? I’ll begin…
I was heavily pregnant with the twins and Hubby had just left for Newcastle. It was night and I started to go into labour with blood and meconium appearing in my underwear. I somehow managed to get to the hospital where I had Little Man and called my in-laws to request for my Mother-in-Law (J) to come into the theatre with me. Little Man was already at their house so I’m not too sure what happened there!
I couldn’t get hold of Hubby (presumably he was sleeping through my calls but after some careful consideration I decided not to punish him in real life for something he did in a dream. I know, I know, missed opportunity or what?).
The nurses told me that Kirsten was on her way and that I would be going into theatre for a ceaserian because I had had one planned, it was just going to happen early. I told them I would just nip to the loo and they said it was fine.
When I got back Kirsten was there and cheerfully told me that, while I was in the toilet, another lady had come – who wasn’t an emergency – but because they couldn’t find me she was going to do her ceaser first.
I looked at J in a panic, no one had even examined me and I was starting to bleed more heavily. Kirsten told me that I would have to labour through the night at another hospital and if I was still in need of the operation they would do it in the morning.
Throughout all of this exchange I was still clutching my overnight bag and walking about. I started crying hysterically and saying my babies were going to die, I needed to get them out now, I knew that they wouldn’t last through the night but Kirsten had already gone and no one was there.
I then came to with my face scrunched up and wet cheeks. I had been crying along with my sleep self.
The dream was terrifying. No care, no examination and on my own without Hubby with a knowledge my babies would die if I was left to labour on my own. It was like those dreams where you’re being chased and running but don’t get anywhere.
However, I instantly knew that the circumstances in my dream would never happen because I am so fortunate to live in a country where health care is (with the exception of remote communities) easily accessible with, largely, brilliant staff and technology.
It did spur me on to find a skilled OBGYN in NSW though. A highly regarded one with experience in multiples and who, coincidentally, recently delivered Hubby’s bosses children.
High-five Dream Self. We got this.
Until next time,