I’m sitting here, working on my photography stuff. Working out when I can launch and downloading new editing software etc, when a thunder storm comes out of nowhere. My mind gets away from me… Is this an ominous sign? Am I really making the right decision with this business venture? What if I fail and make a fool of myself? What if my photo’s are complete and utter rubbish?
Then my no-nonsense tone kicked in. The one that I like to use with other people but not myself because I find it slightly intimidating…
FFS Katie, it’s just a bit of effin’ rain. Get a grip, girl.”
GETTING A GRIP
I mean, if I can take photos of my cats, then surely people won’t be much different. Right? RIGHT?
There’s so much I don’t know, and my brain keeps trying to focus on that. Rather than the stuff I DO know. Like, how much I enjoy using my camera and how I know how to do all the business stuff behind the scenes. I’m a quick learner, so using new editing software should be something I’ll enjoy doing. (FYI, if I start looking phenomenal in my images on here, be aware that it’s all just photoshopped. In reality I actually look exactly like you would expect a cat lady with three small children to look like. Haggard and slightly dead inside.)
What is it about the doubts creeping in? Why do we do this to ourselves?
I for one am sick of it. Plus, I never really used to be this way either. I was always a doing kinda’ gal, with not much fear of being knocked back or it not working out. My philosophy was that I’d rather try and fail than regret not trying at all.
Is it motherhood that is trying to change me? Is it being out of the workforce for so long that has made way for the doubts to take root? Maybe having children has just made me more fearful. I also find everything is harder with kids purely because we’re more time poor. Perhaps because my time away from my babes IS so precious that failing simply isn’t an option.
Anyways, why am I even talking about failing when I haven’t even launched my photography business yet? Geez, Katie. Just get on with it and the rest will fall into place.
Oh, would you look at that. The suns out.