During a particularly riveting lecture I found myself looking through my spam folder for a brief moment. What follows are a few messages that made me smile in a purely evil and judgmental way.

Message 1

This could be the technical name for the reed plant which Rico and Vandoren use
to make their reeds. These plants are commonly utilized
in feng shui as remedies to get good ‘qi’ or energy and can be seen in a large amount offices to bring good luck with a
business.
You possess a broad range of suitable plants that you will discover at a specialty bonsai garden center that can make a superb indoor bonsai project.
I began playing the clarinet when I was 11 years old, last 1984, after many
months of pestering my parents.

By far my favourite message. The way the subjects subtlety change is a true work of art. Sometimes I find myself talking about one thing, like my spam folder messages for example and then BAM, in 1997 I was in a drama club. See, it could happen to anyone.

Message 2

how long to feel benefits of gluten free diet

Erm, a week? I’m more interested in the time I gave the impression I would know such a thing.

Message 3

When we have been planning for your electric repair of our own home or office, then we must hire expert electrician for
your same. This amazing Braun shaver furthermore follows the contours of your respective face, making certain which you experience reduced irritation on the facial skin.

Thank you for thinking of my respective hairy face and suggestions of a suitable shaver AND with hiring expert electricians. I didn’t know I needed either.

Message 4

Love your casual tone. It’s like you’re actually talking to me.

Am I talking to you right now? Do you hear other voices? Are they telling you to do things? Like send me kittens?

Call me bitchy but there is nothing funnier than mocking broken English. Well, maybe kids saying weird things or cult English television programs. And just to prove that I am not racist in any way I too have been mocked in Italy when trying to order food (Hubby had to take over the ordering) – teasing swings in roundabouts, People. Plus, I totally get mocked due to my accent here in Australia… like they speak normally – “ya flamin’ Galah!”

Until next time,

Katie

Disclaimer – in all honesty, English is a hard language with all it’s double meanings and I love the way Australian’s talk. Except when they call me a “pork chop” – whatever does this even mean?

8 comments

  1. Hahaha I love the gluten one. I so want you to actually reply to this person and say, “if you do not feel immediate joy joy bliss feelings as soon as you eat something gluten free you should abandon all hope” 🙂
    These are so bizarre, I have not had a really good one in awhile.
    Hahaha “You’re carrying on like a pork chop!”

    1. LOL!! Oh how I’d love to reply to some of them. I get the most bizarre messages… I still like the clarinet one the most. How and why this is relevant when talking about plants is beyond me but I appreciate being told something so random all the same. I wonder, are they trying to sell me a clarinet or plants? Or have I missed the secret message hidden in there about how to maximize my profile on Google?

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