FINALLY the day has come where we are seeing the orthopedic surgeon. We’ll be discussing Little Red’s multiple spine issues and her legs. (To read more about our medical journey please click here). It’s been a long time coming and Michael and I are both understandably a mixture of emotions. Anxiousness and a sense of warped relief are the two main ones for me.
We’re both being a bit testy with each other, trying to keep it together while continuing to care for the children. After all, we don’t even know what the outcome might be. As Hubby rightly put it, we could go and be told something completely different to what we’re expecting. Bracing could be introduced for the time being and surgery off the cards for a while. I don’t know if that is better, but it’s certainly different to the outcome I’m imagining.
PLAN PREPARE PERFORM
Our pedatrician has told us surgery is a “when” not an “if”. The physio and OT (Occupational Therapist) are in agreeance of this too. It makes perfect sense, really. As her issue is a structural one it therefore needs to be corrected as best as possible in order for her to grow without further (and potentially major) medical concerns. So, my view is just that. I’m going prepared to be told she will need surgery and my main question is when.
It’s hard for me to slow down my brain, especially because I’m naturally a big planner. I can’t relax about the appointment and “go with the flow”. When it comes to my daughters medical needs I don’t want to risk dropping the ball. While logically I fully appreciate that some situations are out of my control, a lot of it is driven by me too. Like in a management capacity I guess. I plan because I have to and because there are multiple specialists involved in her care. For example, her ENT (Ears Nose and Throat specialist) tells me she might need grommets early next year and he’ll also do an endoscopy of her throat while she is under anesthetic, I kinda’ need to mention that to the spinal guy should he wish to do surgery ASAP too.
THERE IS NO EXCEPTION TO THE RULE
I don’t think you can ever do too much for your child in these kind of circumstances. I go to bed at night knowing I’ve done the best to my ability and that I’ve booked appointments and things like that. When she’s an adult, I want Little Red to be able to read my blog and know how much we did for her. That we left no stone unturned and we sought professional information and opinions to enable us to make the best decisions for her.
I want my beautiful girl to know that we attended appointments prepared, were unabashed in asking questions and always, ALWAYS, tried our very best to remain strong for her. Today will be no exception.