During my mid-teens I was diagnosed with a medical condition (PCOS) and told, in a very matter of fact way, that I would never be able to conceive children naturally. However, being a mother was such a huge part of my childhood dreams (I always imagined four children and a loud, messy house) that I remained hopeful, even when I was led to believe it may not be possible.
Fast forward several years, I meet Hubby and, after all the usual stuff like buying our first home and marriage, our story continues through four years, two miscarriages and fertility treatment before holding our son in our arms.
As soon as we received confirmation from the doctor we started trying for a sibling when Little Man was only six weeks old – knowing that it could take the same amount of time and the fact I was already loving motherhood. After six months of trying without medical help and a further six months of fertility treatment, naturopathy and acupuncture, we sadly experienced a chemical pregnancy and, a few months later, a third miscarriage.
Following this we were advised by our OBGYN to take a break but I naturally conceived almost immediately and sadly lost the pregnancy in the first trimester. To say the loss hit us hard is an understatement and working through such profound grief as we tried to come to terms with losing two babies in such close proximity brought us to the decision to finally stop trying to fall pregnant.
I threw myself into the gym and organising the house, I even started selling some of Little Mans baby stuff, then to our surprise I fell pregnant naturally – with twins!
Fear of loss haunted the pregnancy as did a move interstate and finding a new OBGYN. I was monitored closely due to it being a multiple and high risk pregnancy. The girls arrived ten weeks premature via emergency C-section after Fenella’s placenta started separating and her water broke. They spent time in NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) and continue to be monitored by a pediatrician and the outpatient NICU clinic.
In November 2016 it was suggested that Little Red may have mild Cerebral Palsy and we continue to work with physiotherapists, Occupational Therapists and an amazing medical team. You can read more about it here.
This blog has been a great outlet for my personal feelings around my infertility, pregnancy loss and what our future may hold and I thank you for reading, leaving supporting comments and courageous messages about your own situations.
As always, thanks for reading,