Nothing can prepare you for a premature baby and becoming a NICU parent. You are initially thrust into a world that can only be described as overwhelming at best. (However it’s surprising how quickly it becomes the norm).
I notice all the parents look the same. The Mums have a uniform of baggy clothes, no make-up, carry cooler bags for transporting their milk and some are still wearing compression socks from a ceaser. We all look absolutely exhausted.
Sometimes I leave NICU walking on air, still high from all the skin to skin time. Sometimes I’m on the verge of tears because it’s time to leave my babies. I have a cry everyday. Not because I have PND, but simply because I miss my girls and it seems like a lifetime until I can see them again. In all this I still know how unbelievably lucky we are. I’m incredibly grateful I actually have children to visit who are going from strength to strength.
As much as I know they’re receiving excellent medical care and I cannot speak highly enough of the unit, I still ache for them. I long to have them with me and for the day I can bring them home and do normal things like go to the shops or out for a coffee with Hubby, wheeling them in their double pram or having one each in a carrier. It’s a strange feeling having newborns that aren’t at home with you. It all still feels so surreal and at times it seems plain weird that I’m not still pregnant given that I’m at home doing the same things and wearing the same clothes before they came along.
I heard a Bing Crosby song on the radio recently – “Give Me The Simple Life”. This is generally my life motto but boy, it rings so true, more now than ever.