To The Mum Who Thinks She Always Comes Last,
Whether you were prepared for it or not, parenting teaches us to be selfless. You learn pretty quickly that you can no longer put yourself first, at least for the majority of the time, and especially at the beginning of your parenting journey.
You are the last one to bed, only to be woken several times a night.
If you’re anything like me, then you are often the last to get dressed in the morning.
You can forget your meal times until you become ravenous, or they can be cold, repeatedly interrupted and may not happen at all.
When you’re sick nothing changes, the workload is still the same.
The real and unrealistic expectations that are put upon you are endless.
The learning curve is great, so great it can easily overwhelm.
Your body has changed, probably indefinitely. This might really bother you and I’d say that’s a pretty normal reaction.
It may feel like the sleepless nights are never ending, to the point it feels like torture.
At times you may think you don’t know how you’re going to get through the day, but somehow, you still do.
Parenting may make you sick, but you are too scared of stigma to tell anyone.
You may feel emotions you’ve never really experienced before, and they can all happen on the same day.
You probably feel that you and your needs come last, in every single aspect of your life.
It’s not that all of that isn’t true
But try to remember sweetie, that you are the one that your child needs in the night and the one they look forward to seeing in the morning. You can make them laugh louder than anyone else on the planet. A simple kiss and cuddle from you can make their world seem right again. They don’t know about the big bad things that happen out there, they only know you, and that’s probably why they’re so happy and content.
Yes, honestly, you probably are coming last in a lot of ways and it seems like you are only existing to fulfill the wishes of a tiny person (or people) who don’t appreciate it. But, you don’t come last where it matters, not really.
You come first in the most important place in the whole entire universe – the heart of your child. They may not always show it nor say it but you do. You’re the most beautiful and special person in the world to them. You’re their constant, their safety and their everything. At this very moment, it might seem like they’re taking all you have to give plus more, but the smiles and cuddles you get in return is their way of saying thanks. Remember that the next time they reach for you, they don’t just want you, they need you.
You’re their first choice. Always.