Wow. It seems like ages since I opened my laptop and even longer since coming on my blog. We’ve been insanely busy with our house sale and taking a trip to New South Wales, where we will be living soon. I will write more about that in a different post but what I really wanted to talk about today was baby stuff.
In true Katie Fashion nothing is ever simple with the whole making babies thing! Let me explain, the baby has been measuring slightly small ever since the first scan because it’s been squashed up so an accurate length couldn’t be taken. I had a scan booked in for Monday where I would have been seven weeks four days. We immediately noticed an Unidentifiable Flying Object next to the baby with its own little flicker (heartbeat). My OBGYN was unsure but confirmed that “there is definitely something there” and the word “twin” got mentioned. Since I was seeing her today we decided to just keep an eye on it and look more when hopefully it would be bigger or smaller or just something.
Anyway, Hubby was convinced it was twins, that they would be girls and that, upon their arrival, he and Little Man would promptly move out for six months with all of their Lego. He excitedly named them Itchy and Scratchy. I, on the other hand, wanted to wait and see what happened over the coming weeks and to actually be told that “yes, you are having twins and yes they are growing as they should be”.
Today I had my eight week scan and my OBGYN told me that after my initial appointment weeks ago she had written “another sack, possible twin”. We decided to just crack on with the scan to see what we could see. Thankfully Baby is doing fine, growing as normal and I could see and hear the heartbeat. Kirsten then zeroed in on UFO, again confirmed that there is a flicker but that it appears to be in a much smaller sack. Which is a concern if it is a twin. Initially she thought it could have been a blood clot or something like that but eight weeks on and there is definitely something there.
It looks the same size as the baby yet with no breathing room which could mean it’s not viable. Apparently if this is the case then I will just absorb it. There is a small risk to the baby but because they’re in different sacks it’s very small. I’ve been referred to a proper scan place because the technology will be better so hopefully I’ll have some definite answers and a proper diagnosis in the next couple of weeks.
I’m not too sure how I feel about it all. My symptoms have been through the roof, I’ve been sick as a dog with all day nausea and a whole array of other wonderful things. I remember feeling off with Little Man but nothing like this.
I guess, I still feel in shock about it all. The whole pregnancy and the fact it seemed to be going textbook and now potentially not. It seemed too easy, too fortunate perhaps, maybe I was too cocky about it. I’m not sure if I feel excited about having two in there or simply scared because there is a risk to the healthy baby we’ve been willing to survive all these weeks. How do I feel about two in general? Just scared mainly. There is more risk to both of them. The thought of losing two in one go is terrifying but how do I go about losing one and the other being okay? It just all feels so incredibly strange.
At the moment I don’t feel excited, I don’t feel anxious, I just feel nothing. Perhaps a slight trepidation about all of the potential outcomes but largely, nothing. I’m sure that will change as I think the shock is still alive and well. Maybe I don’t want to allow myself to actually believe I may get a healthy baby at the end of this, let alone two.
Thanks for reading.
Until next time,