They’re not for a while, but I’m already starting to get really excited about some date nights Hubby and I have planned. We’ve decided that the next time a set of our folks visit then we will take lots of opportunities to get a bit dressed up and try somewhere new to eat.
DATE NIGHTS NOT MATE NIGHTS
Anyone with young children can tell you how hard it is to find time for yourself, let alone with your partner as well. I find that Michael and I get busy, tired and, frankly, stuck in survival mode. We always get on, but we haven’t really made time to appreciate each other. Maybe even take care of ourselves as much as we used to.
I’m excited to get somewhat dressed up, make a real effort with my appearance rather than the good ol’ daily Mum Uniform. I’m looking forward to actually having conversations with my husband without constantly stopping to take someone to the toilet or juggle a babe on my knee. Although I am unashamedly a real homebody, I do sometimes miss the atmosphere of being out on the town. I love people watching and just being able to relax without sitting next to a pile of washing that needs folding or constantly tidying up will be such a treat.
The idea that having a baby will strengthen your relationship feels a bit untrue to me. However, I’m not saying that it is untrue. I’m simply coming from a recent and raw struggle with Post Natal Depression.
Due to my mental health issues our relationship was definitely tested. For a long time I felt like the girls had created a big divide – maybe because we were just so exhausted. We had no down time, minimal patience for one another and we were clearly just completely overwhelmed too.
So, the past two years have been a bit rough. Of course, the next few years will probably be tough too due to Little Red’s ongoing health issues. But it’s a different kind of pain. It’s something we easily manage as a team because it’s not actually about us. Instead of being pulled in different directions by our individual feelings of isolation and anxiety, we are very much united.
It’s those feelings of togetherness that was normal for us. Yet, it now feels relatively new. The girls are getting older and more independent. Yes, the pressure is still there but, thanks to my happy pills, it’s lessened. If you’re feeling an overall contentedness then parenting will be far less stressful than what it can be. I’m just so pleased to finally reconnect with who I am and who I married, once again. It feels like it’s been such a long time. So, we’re going to grab what little opportunity we get with both hands, kiss the children good night, and not think or talk about them for a few hours!