The girls had their pediatrician appointments earlier this week. We tend to start with Copperhead (Naomi) because she doesn’t have any other health issues except being born prematurely. Her growth is going really well with her height leading the way. Little Red, on the other hand, well, where do I begin?

We went in with questions regarding the potential Cerebral Palsy diagnosis and came away with another condition to add to the list, one regarding her right eye and it’s movements. So it’s back to the Ophthalmologist (eye Dr) in the new year to talk about that and to do an assessment about whether there is any supporting evidence for CP.

On the utter, most beautiful of bright sides was the confirmation that the hole in her heart has closed up (you can read a teeny bit about the ECHO scan here).

Sometimes I easily manage the ongoing health stuff, the organising of appointments, even feeling the financial pinch of it all. But other times I can get pretty down about it. I’m fully aware that on the grand scheme of things that I’m so fortunate, I have beautiful and, for the large part, healthy children. I’m not so wrapped up in feeling sorry for myself that I don’t appreciate how bad others have it or how awful the outcome could have been. I know it, trust me, I know it. But, it’s okay for me to say I find it hard some days. How I cry in private, and not just any kind of crying, the kind that would easily trump one of Little Man’s tired meltdowns complete with face planting into a pillow. I reason that hey, it’s just a few appointments here and there, that it’s not really a biggie visiting the hospital every month for physio but sometimes logic is simply not enough.

I’m lucky that I got to experience such a wonderful time with Little Man when he was born, that I had him, came home from the hospital and that was that. I guess this whole premmie thing has thrown me more than I ever dared let myself believe, it truly is a roller coaster of emotion. Maybe I kind of naively thought that once we left the hospital with the girls after NICU (neonatal intensive care) that it’d be over, the back and forth of it all is something I wasn’t prepared for. I still don’t think I’d change a thing though and I believe that speaks for a lot. It’s our journey as a family and I have to honour that and, truth be told, I’m proud to do so because it’s such a special road we’re travelling on.

Thanks for reading,

K x

ATK

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