October 15th came and went. The reason this date is important is because it’s SIDS, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberence Day. Even though none of my miscarriages took place in October it’s still become a time of reflection.

The irony is not lost on me that I was too busy to write, too tired from sleepless nights to sit at my laptop and blog. But it wasn’t just that, I think I purposely avoided it too.

I remarked to Hubby what day it was yesterday morning. We talked about a small sense of guilt we have surrounding the fact that we’ve left the raw hurt feelings behind. We acknowledged how extremely fortunate we are, how much our lives have changed from a short four years ago.

Although the multiple losses we’ve experienced continues to feel so unbelievable pointless, I’m fortunate enough to have reached a sense of closure. I can talk about my miscarriages without my voice cracking, I’m no longer a walking and talking open wound.

My heart will bear the marks of my lost babies forever but I’m at peace now. I guess you could call it mothers intuition because I know deep down, so are they. K x

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